This blogging thing is freaking me out

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I've put this off for long enough. Each day I think, "This is the day I actually post what I type". And each day I find a reason I can't finish the post I started that morning. I had a draft sitting here for 2 weeks and each time I went to add more, I had a few thoughts run through my head. Is what I have to say really all that important? Does anyone even want to hear what I have on my mind? What's motivating me to put myself out there and do this? And what would I do if people think this is just another blogger that wants to clog up their newsfeed? Personally, I enjoy reading peoples blogs, learning about their life and seeing what they choose to share. But I know not everyone likes it and that's what has made me postpone this. Also, sometimes my grammar and sentence structure are wrong, and maybe it's weird but that is a huge insecurity of mine. I don't want y'all to think I'm stupid! The thing I keep repeating to myself is if people want to read this then they'll click on the link and read. And if they think I'm stupid, oh well. :) As far as what I want to focus on with my blog...it's kind of all over the place. I'll probably use this as a venting place, share dumb jokes, show you the latest crafty thing I'm doing or talk about what it was like growing up sexually abused, and the NEVER ENDING recovery. That escalated kinda quickly, didn't it? I had to just go for it and say it. There's no polite way to say you were abused. A lot of people already know about it. I'm very open about it. But I always talk about it like I'm ok. I brush it off like it's no big deal. Largely because I don't like it when who I'm talking to gets uncomfortable. I feel bad for making things awkward so I'll say something to lighten the mood, or make it seem like it was so long ago it doesn't affect me anymore. But the reality is I'm still struggling. Not everyday. Sometimes I'll go a few months hardly thinking about it. Then BAM! I'm dealing with it again. Something I like about blogging about this is that I can talk about it and if it makes anyone uncomfortable they can stop reading. I'm not offended if you do. And obviously I won't know if you stop. Ok, so I've said what I needed to say for now. My kids are about to start a war downstairs so I need to go break it up. I'll post more later!! Thanks for reading and feel free to comment on any of my posts if you want to :)

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